I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
