If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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