Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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