Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
