we're chasing vodka with high fives
only you would photoshop your dick
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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