he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
