Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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