billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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