Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize