so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My nipple is on Facebook.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
