I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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