Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Never joke about your clitoris.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
