People with herpes should wear stickers.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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