the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
