Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
