WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
this just has baby written all over it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
