Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
