is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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