i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
