YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
