Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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