i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
