____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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