Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We don't watch enough power rangers
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize