jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
