I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This house was built for laser tag.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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