eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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