Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
