She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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