I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I bet he comes in French.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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