i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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