i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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