I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
