Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
