The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
