Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
