I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
