I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
