he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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