I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
