So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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