i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it was like eating out sand paper
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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