somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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