vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i came on her dog
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
