I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
