It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
