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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
