I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
