And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
