Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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