Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
