just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
either way he was missing a nipple.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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