note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
