everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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