What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize