she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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