Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
