After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
