is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
