I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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